Thursday, 17 March 2011

musings on the internet

i live in a very small town. even before facebook, everybody knew everybody's business. now with facebook everybody knows everybodys aunt's dog's vet's business. so how is it possible for someone to disappear? i don't mean i sinister way, just in a sort of lose contact with all of humanity kind of way.
before the internet even in my little bubble of a town, you would be forgotten about if you went on your gap year and decided you liked it so much in new zealand you decided to stay. but now you'd be posting facebook updates about how the weather is 'too hot, i hate the sun'. (yeah well it's bloody snowing here) and uploading albums upon albums of 'me helping orphans' and 'dolphins!!11!' for the whole town to see.

everyone is connected these days. and i reckon i can find anyone with just a tiny bit of information..

okay time for a test.. let's see what the boy who i sat next to in year three is doing today (he smelt funny but was a sweet kid)

he made 2 songs today with his band which, judging from his latest tagged pictures, is a sort of rock/tribute band.

that was easy. how about the girl who left in year 4. she used to suck her two middle fingers and i'm sure her name was lauren.

well she's listening to the chris moyles show. she didn't move far, only about 30 miles away.

and then there's subject number three who we shall call edith. an old school friend, from reception right through to year 11. i know her full name, her age, her sisters name, her mums name, her old address, even her favorite flavour of crisps. how is it possible that i cannot find a single trace of this person on the internet?
this is when my obsessive side kicked in, and i became borderline stalker. no myspace, no bebo, no youtube, no lastfm, no blogs and no. face. book.

it's 2011. even my grandma has an email address.

but why do i need to know about this girl? she hasn't been a part of my life for 5 years. in fact, out of 519 facebook 'friends', i have 1 boyfriend, 7 girl friends and 4 college friends who i talk to on a regular basis. the other 507 'friends' are all old friends, acquaintances, people who i've met in bars ('hey look i have a smart phone.. i can add you on facebook RIGHT NOW!') and friends of friends of friends. even the relatives on there (2) i only speak to twice a year. (merry christmas/happy birthday).

it seems with facebook there is no 'moving on' or 'fresh start', because each time we log on there are all the people from primary school, ex boyfriends we've been too nosy to delete, and that girl that punched me in the dinner queue. i mean to really move on we'd have to (heaven forbid) delete our facebook accounts.

so after a bit of pondering and a lot of rambling i'm left thinking SHOULD i delete my facebook account? what am i actually gaining from being in constant (yes constant.. smart phones honestly.. you just can't get away from it) contact with a million and one people from my past?

and then i remember how much fun it is facebook raping/uploading awful pictures/filling someone's wall with inappropriate things.

also what if my phone died?? how would i get in touch with people?? i wouldn't have any phone numbers!

what do you mean land line?


  1. Hahahaha - this is one of the funniest posts i've ever read! It's so true, we are all guilty of stalking people on Facebook! Love it! x

  2. such a good post! + so so true. i don't think i could live without fb. i'm too nosey :)

  3. Love this, and must have the "forever young" vest - one of the best songs EVER written x